Listen to another can be very difficult as I found before improving my listening skills, especially when it can be triggered by what another says or does. Here are some simple tips to make fun and effective listening. The practice of the suggestions below will bring a new paradigm to their abilities. Be patient and try one at a time.Remember, new skills takes time to learn. These personal
communication skills may be used with the family or business communication.
1. Before listening to others, take a minute to calm down. Ask yourself, what are my intentions? Take some deep breaths. As you are breathing, ask yourself after each breath, which I need? Perhaps you are wanting quiet, tranquility, some support? This is a relaxing technique to connect with yourself before trying another.
Let's use the example of his son coming home from school crying. Before saying a word to his son, take a moment to calm down. Take some deep breaths and ask yourself, what am I need now? Take another deep breath. This step is probably the most important. Take your time and relax before communicating with others.
2. When the other person is speaking, focus on them.Many times we think we are hearing, but in reality they are trying to figure out what to say next while the other person is speaking. To hear more, try to understand what the person is going on. This is called empathy. All attention is focused on them, like a spotlight that can shine only in one person. Giving full attention. Do not worry, you will have your turn to speak.
The deeper you listen and understand the other person, the more they will want to hear. Not a bad deal out of. Take at least 30 seconds before responding initial listening to them. In the book by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, suggests, "Do not just do something, be there."
How should we respond is so important. Offering empathy is a different kind of response that the usual solution is the answer. The answer-solution looks like sympathy, one up with a story about our experiences, or educate them with advice.
STOP, it's time to change this. This type of response the focus off the person and shift the focus to the listener. This habit is difficult to change after years of correction-to talk about. Why do we want to solve the problem so quickly? Usually, when we are listening, we hear another painful experience. Reply with sympathy, advice or story helps solve this pain for us, however, breaks the connection to the speaker. Instead put the spotlight back on them. To listen, respond with less is very important.
3. Try to guess their emotions This is the first step in connecting with another. Ask, Do you feel lonely, disappointed, tired or frustrated? There are many emotions to choose from. I advise you not use the word "feelings" in his sentence. Other emotions may be nervous, aggravated, upset, discouraged or disappointed. This is only 10% of the connection and be sure to ask a question.
4. Now, 90%. Try to guess what the values are not being met at the time. These are also seen as necessities. The needs are the lifeblood of every human being. When our values are met we feel energized, energy is not met is running out. As if my need for food is fulfilled I feel comfortable. If my food needs not met, I feel upset or uncomfortable. Note that when my needs are met, my feelings are positive, not negative then met. Same with honesty and any other value or need. S i value my honesty in order to fulfill myself or another, my energy level ISE, if not my energy level decreases.
5. Try to guess what that can meet your needs with those strategies. Once you have identified your needs, chances are they want to find a way to meet your needs. Remember that to satisfy our needs is to create energy. Who does not want to have energy? We meet our needs through strategies. We again ask the person, do not tell them. Ex Want to sit and talk about their report cards after dinner or what you want from me now? There can be many strategies to meet your needs. Remember that your strategy is conjecture requests and demands.
